I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
