I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Screwed.edu
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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