I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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