Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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