Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
