where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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