no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
