some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
