Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
