We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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