do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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