we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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