i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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