btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've blown a few things in my day
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
