Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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