We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
