The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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