Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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