I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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