I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im part way to drunk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
