dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
