Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
