I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
