Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
