Your dad touched me again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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