One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were trust falling into bushes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
