who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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