I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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