So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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