Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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