she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
