I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
