i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
