Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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