glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
