Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
