I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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