I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize