I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just high enough for therapy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
