she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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