oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize