I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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