Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
