I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
