Me too!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
