Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
