marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
