Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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