He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
