I love black thongs
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
