Please, let me fuck your mom
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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