she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
