I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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