Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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