I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
