Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
